christmas crafts #1

decorating for christmas without a lot of money can be quite tricky. however, this year it inspired creativity and resourcefulness. i hope to do a little series of the couple of projects i've completed this year. so to begin...

sparkly gold and silver snowflakes

these are so cheap and turned out so lovely.

supplies
a glue gun
toilet paper/paper towel rolls
spray paint
glitter
thread/string

cut your tp/pt rolls into thin slices, i found the thinner ones looked more dainty. flatten pieces and then push up edges to give them a nicer, almost football like, shape. once you have all of your pieces ready to go, put a dot of glue near the end of one piece and connect it to another. continue adding pieces until you get a star or cross, or keep going until you have a much larger snowflake.

the next step is a bit more involved. take a snowflake and spray paint it. i chose to use gold and silver paint. while it is still wet, sprinkle or dip your flake into the same color glitter. set to dry. once it's dry you can tie your string or thread around one of the sides. i chose to use my completed snowflakes as ornaments, though there are many different options. such a cheap, sparkly decoration

the most wonderful time of the year.

thanksgiving table

oh christmas tree

we brought home our 2011 christmas tree tonight! it's our family tradish to go 2 nights before thanksgiving. wednesday before thanksgiving we decorate the boughs and whip up the delicious food. on thanksgiving we sit back and relax. funny as the years go by it gets harder and harder to get everyone together to make these things happen. but we managed : )

heartache

this past week, i've had a sort of growing sadness. sadness for lost souls. as a recent friendship with a seeming unbeliever has grown so too has my sadness for her and her unsaved soul.

for years, i've prayed that God would give me a glimpse of His view for the lost. i wanted very badly to care more about people, realizing that everyone, whether aware or not, will spend eternity in either heaven or hell. for years i've prayed regularly for friends who's salvation i was not sure of or either very doubtful of. yet, i've never really felt that i cared about the eternal destinations of the souls all around me.

romans 10:1 is a verse that has provoked change. Kevin DeYoung said in a sermon on compassion, "Our goal as Christians is to relieve suffering everywhere we see it and especially eternal suffering." these 2 sentences have really stuck with me. and so the prayers for change continued.

well this past week, those prayers have been answer. yet, i'm not sure i was really ready for what it was i had asked for. i believe that God has the power to change hearts, to soften hardened sinners and cause true repentance and belief. and i also believe that not everyone will be saved. some people continue to harden their hearts and ignore the gospel. they choose to ignore their need for saving. while i don't understand it all, i still believe God is a loving and sovereign God capable of great things. He is saddened greatly by sin. i think the intense sadness God feels for unbelievers is something humans will never know. yet through sanctification, we can gain small glimpses into this grief.

this past week my heart has grown heavy as i talked more and more to my friend. she seems to want something more, know that life is about something more, yet i think she's comfortable with her life and knows significant change would need to occur if she seeks out something greater.

last night after everyone went upstairs, i began to cry. tears for my friend, tears for other friends, tears for all the faces i pass each day that do not have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. crying turned to weeping. i was overcome by grief. i turned to Scripture. i was quickly drawn to revelations. as the verses described what the end of time will be like, and how some will continue in their unbelief, yet another even greater wave of sorrow came over me. i wept for the first time in my life as i thought about people going to hell.

i realized in my weakness that unless God changed these hearts, they would indeed suffer in hell. i know my efforts to spread the truth of the gospel are in vain unless God changes hearts. i prayed, without actually speaking words, that He would indeed change their hearts.

i still feel sadness as i think of faces, yet more grateful than ever for my salvation, and that most of the people i love are saved. i felt exhausted from shedding tears for close to an hour, but God used that exhausted and needy feeling to show me that salvation is His doing, not mine. this built faith in me to pray. pray hard for the lost. and never let opportunities for sharing the hope of the gospel pass me by.

this heartache that i feel is real. i'm sure it's only a trace of the grief God feels. while it's made my heart heavy, i hope it does not quickly go away.

Hebrews 4:7
"Today if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts." 

Titus 2:11
"For the grace of God has appeared bringing salvation for all people."

Psalm 42:5
"Why are you cast down oh my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation."

honeyed tunes

roslyn

possibility 

hearing damage

meet me on the equinox

                     

glimpse of autumn

Pumpkin cookies from Mary

                                             parking garage

                                           Cuties on the keys

                          night out with chels, jake, and mary

                                        odu bird's eye view

                                             rainy night

                                               tired of school

                                              leaf garland

                                              rain drops

                                                   chels

                                           weeping cherry

                                            golden hair

the best

on love

love is not something i think about a lot. i mean, i love my family and friends but liking someone, falling in love, being in love, i haven't thought about these things much until recently. throughout the past 12 months i've had a front row seat to my sister's first relationship with a boy. in the summer, i read a series of posts about love. since the end of summer 2 of my dearest friends have started dating boys. and most recently i've seen a new friend walk through a tough situation in an almost 4-year-long relationship. i've payed more attention to the different dynamics in the duos closest to me. my perspective on what love is, what i want from a guy, and how things "should be" have changed. not drastically, but subtly.

i used to dream of a guy that'd be tall, strong, handsome, charming, smart, athletic, funny, a leader...basically perfect. not sure why, cause i'm no where near perfect, but i did. i dreamed of an easy, short, fun time of dating and being engaged. than life would go on and along would come marriage, kids, and a comfy lifestyle without problems. not necessarily bad things to want, but if idled definitely need to do some heart checking.

so i did. helped along by the before said items, i evaluated what i was looking to gain from the relationship(s) that will one day come. i was looking for ease, comfort, affirmation, and happiness. but, what i realized is that happiness will not come from any of those things. true happiness, true joy, can only be found within Christ. true peace-ease & comfort- can only be found in Christ. and true affirmation can only be gained from hiding my life within Christ's sacrificial work on the cross.

so i started to re-shift my focus, the desires of my heart began to slowly change. instead of desiring an easy, dreamy future, i began to desire a future that reflected God's plan for me, a future that would bring glory to His name, and a future filled with things that would be of eternal importance.

more important than tall, strong, handsome, charming, smart, athletic, funny, etc, i want someone who is more passionate about God than anything else. who has given God his whole heart. who knows God's Word, but wants to know it better. who has prayer often on his mind. who finds joy in laying down his life and desires for others. who is committed to pursuing non-believers. who is courageous, unafraid to stand for truth and on his convictions. who will lead me and our one day family closer to God. these are the things i would like and pray for now. i want to come away from dates, phone calls, and time together spurred on towards the upward calling. i want to talk about deep things and have lighthearted fun. i want there to be struggles and arguments that refine us and build our faith. i want to be a team, with winning as our goal. winning through living lives in a manner worthy of a most Holy God.

this is what i want.

and i want to be a girl who is worthy of such a boy.

fall mantle

quickie

fall is here, and while the occasional 80 degree day pops in, it's mostly cool and crisp. i love this time of year. i love the pumpkin harvest candle, the sweaters, cozy night at home, starbucks, and i love being reminded to be thankful. this season is filled with both reflection, on the gifts we've been given, and anticipation, of the not too far away christmas season. i love it.

more to come soon about nursing school and life

i heart faces | beautiful eyes

garrett. entered the beautiful eyes photo challenge over at the i heart faces website.

i heart faces | friendship

first time linking up to the i heart faces weekly challenge. more from this photo shoot with bell and garrett soon...

doing it

bell has this nike shirt. and instead of the typical "just do it" saying on the front, it reads "doing it." it got me thinking, hey i'm doing it. what is "it" you might ask? it would be anatomy and physiology. i made the decision last summer to take a&p this summer. i chose to do it now instead of during the regular school year on top of my full load. and ever since i made that decision i dreaded the day i would have to act upon it.

now, it wasn't something i thought about daily, but it flitted through my mind frequently. i had heard horror stories about the class. from friends who'd previously taken it, from people i met at odu, and from the advisors. i realized i'd be doing a&p for the summer. not working, not hanging out, heck, not even sleeping. "a&p would be my life" one advisor stated with an impish smile. how could i not dread that? should i have looked forward to these promises eagerly? anticipating them with joy and desire? should or shouldn't have, i didn't. i really couldn't wait for the whole shabang to be over.

and then i had to decide this past spring to take the class at odu or tcc. i chose tcc for a handful of reasons. it was a tough decision, but every day i go to school i'm glad God helped guide me to make it.

and "every day i go to school" reminds me that i'm doing it! this thing i've dreaded for almost a year, i'm doing it. and after today's practical, i'm half way done. 5 weeks down, 5 weeks to go. and not a single day has passed that i have not felt desperate to call upon the name of the Lord, begging for help to learn everything i need to.

"prayer can never be in excess." spurgeon

and He has indeed answered my call.

"oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon His name; make known His deeds among the people." psalms 105:1

He is indeed worthy of praise! helping me gently along every step of the way, teaching me more than the superior vena cava, the cricotracheal ligament, and the ciliary zonule. He's revealing Himself to me more and more every day, and I couldn't be more grateful for this time of dependence on Him.

i'm doing anatomy by the grace of God. and i'm half way done!

round 2

ding! ding! ding!

and here begins round 2.
another week, another load of school.
4 tests. 5 quizzes. 7 days. holy cow.

and when i realize this, all that i have to do, i realize once again how incapable i am. i realize how anatomy would totally kick my butt if it weren't for grace. grace that gives me strength when i feel so weak. grace that reminds me to pray and ask my heavenly Father for help. and grace that sees me though to the next day. and that's when i realize and remember how capable God is. He is capable and willing to help me through these next seven days and then the 5 weeks left after that. and then the next year, and the next, and so on. He is capable to sustain me through this trial and every one that will come in the future.

God is able. God is willing. And God is at work. What good, life-giving news.

a few a&p pictures. so interesting i know.

starting out

pushing through

and done. ahh. isabel's looking good.

Back to the books : )

grace&triumph

as i've been preparing for the past 10 days or so for my first 3 a&p tests, which occurred in a 2 day span, i've had to say no to many things.

i left graduation right away. and then my sisters and friends went to the beach for the afternoon. i studied at home. then they all came over to our house. and i sat upstairs studying. it was hard. really hard. i only cried once, but wished i was downstairs hundreds of times.

i missed reaghan's pool party sunday afternoon. couldn't hang out on the nights jake was over. and i think worst of all of these was missing garrett's soccer games. everyone went to the beach pretty much all day both saturday and sunday. thankfully, i was able to go to 2 games, but felt the weight of school the whole time i was there. and then it was hard leaving while everyone else was there. i cried again sunday when everyone else left to watch the championship game.

studying has been hard. my mind wants to be a million other places. my creativity goes wild when i need to be doing intense studying instead. even harder than the actual studying was just trying to focus on what i was "learning."

needless to say these past few days have been tiring. feeling sad and at times discouraged. yet, in God's kindness i was often reminded to pray and read God's Word.

last night, i decided to just be done studying at 9. at 9 i'd close the books, put everything away, and do something enjoyable. so i did. i brainstormed fun stuff and watched the basketball game. and today, i went and took 2 of my tests. and i felt like i did well.

well, this afternoon i found out how i did on my lecture part 1 test. i got a 102. i was overjoyed and grateful beyond belief to see the grade. God was indeed helping me to study hard and say no to temptation. he was with me with each and every question. i'm so glad 2/3 are behind me. i'm hoping tomorrow's goes as well, but i'm not quite as sure about what to expect. whatever, the outcome i know God is with me.

61. getting a 102 on the first anatomy test!

62. gorgeous summer nights

63. lovely flowers on the dining room table from our yard

64. the games i did get to see

65. access. such a great message. provoking and encouraging. perfect combo.

again, so much to be grateful for!

warm weather brings...

58. sand soccer tourneys

garrett plays hard

he runs fast after the ball

stop. refuel.

go.

stop. do ballet.

and go.

he plays hard and we love watching!

59. beach colors

60. summer rainstorms