a new work

Today in church, Eric felt pressed to encourage a certain group of people. A group that felt that they were not completely blameless. And oh how that was me.

This past week I’ve felt sad at the thought of starting up school again. I just finished a tough semester and after a 2 week break I’m beginning summer classes, and anatomy at that. I know its going to be full, difficult, and not fun. I hadn’t thought about it much until this week. And then I started to feel heavy and sad.

However on Friday morning, after waking up to take Mary to school, I ran by Michael’s. I got there before it opened and had nothing to do. So I prayed. I rolled down the car windows leaned my seat back and prayed. And God met me. I was quickly convicted of a number of things, but especially my self-centered nature. Instead of being grateful for all Christ has given me, I was complaining. I was focused on my “sad situation” (something most people would probably love to be able to do) and not focused on others or even Christ. I was finding myself sad because I had invested too much of my hope and joy into my situation instead of Christ, my only hope. Through tears, I asked for help. I knew I needed help to be able to lift my eyes off myself, and to focus on what lavish kindness Christ has poured out on me.

Needless to say, by Sunday morning I was more aware of my sins than of Christ’s work on the cross. However, God had not yet finished what he was getting at in my heart. Eric encouraged us to remember that no matter what sort of week we had had, God’s love for us was based on Christ’s death on the cross, and our daily performance cannot affect that love.
God’s love for us is unconditional and unlike any feeling we can ever muster up for others. His love is perfect and not based on our “good” or bad deeds. And as all these thoughts were racing through my head, we began to sing the chorus

“How wonderful the Father’s love the Father’s love for us.
That He would send His only Son to come and rescue us.
He has saved us called us blameless, guides us now and will sustain us.
Oh how wonderful the Father’s love”

God has been more than kind to me this week. Through his gentle probing, I was made aware of my sin and felt the sweet sting of conviction. Then, as I felt guilt set in, He reminded me through someone else that it wasn’t my record that had gained His love in the first place, but Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross. And I was overwhelmed at how kind God is to me, and how great and unfathomable His love for me is.

My prayer now is that these truths continue to remain fresh in my mind and that God continues to soften my heart to Him this week.