Thursday, November 17, 2011
Sunday, November 13, 2011
on love
love is not something i think about a lot. i mean, i love my family and friends but liking someone, falling in love, being in love, i haven't thought about these things much until recently. throughout the past 12 months i've had a front row seat to my sister's first relationship with a boy. in the summer, i read a series of posts about love. since the end of summer 2 of my dearest friends have started dating boys. and most recently i've seen a new friend walk through a tough situation in an almost 4-year-long relationship. i've payed more attention to the different dynamics in the duos closest to me. my perspective on what love is, what i want from a guy, and how things "should be" have changed. not drastically, but subtly.
i used to dream of a guy that'd be tall, strong, handsome, charming, smart, athletic, funny, a leader...basically perfect. not sure why, cause i'm no where near perfect, but i did. i dreamed of an easy, short, fun time of dating and being engaged. than life would go on and along would come marriage, kids, and a comfy lifestyle without problems. not necessarily bad things to want, but if idled definitely need to do some heart checking.
so i did. helped along by the before said items, i evaluated what i was looking to gain from the relationship(s) that will one day come. i was looking for ease, comfort, affirmation, and happiness. but, what i realized is that happiness will not come from any of those things. true happiness, true joy, can only be found within Christ. true peace-ease & comfort- can only be found in Christ. and true affirmation can only be gained from hiding my life within Christ's sacrificial work on the cross.
so i started to re-shift my focus, the desires of my heart began to slowly change. instead of desiring an easy, dreamy future, i began to desire a future that reflected God's plan for me, a future that would bring glory to His name, and a future filled with things that would be of eternal importance.
more important than tall, strong, handsome, charming, smart, athletic, funny, etc, i want someone who is more passionate about God than anything else. who has given God his whole heart. who knows God's Word, but wants to know it better. who has prayer often on his mind. who finds joy in laying down his life and desires for others. who is committed to pursuing non-believers. who is courageous, unafraid to stand for truth and on his convictions. who will lead me and our one day family closer to God. these are the things i would like and pray for now. i want to come away from dates, phone calls, and time together spurred on towards the upward calling. i want to talk about deep things and have lighthearted fun. i want there to be struggles and arguments that refine us and build our faith. i want to be a team, with winning as our goal. winning through living lives in a manner worthy of a most Holy God.
this is what i want.
and i want to be a girl who is worthy of such a boy.
i used to dream of a guy that'd be tall, strong, handsome, charming, smart, athletic, funny, a leader...basically perfect. not sure why, cause i'm no where near perfect, but i did. i dreamed of an easy, short, fun time of dating and being engaged. than life would go on and along would come marriage, kids, and a comfy lifestyle without problems. not necessarily bad things to want, but if idled definitely need to do some heart checking.
so i did. helped along by the before said items, i evaluated what i was looking to gain from the relationship(s) that will one day come. i was looking for ease, comfort, affirmation, and happiness. but, what i realized is that happiness will not come from any of those things. true happiness, true joy, can only be found within Christ. true peace-ease & comfort- can only be found in Christ. and true affirmation can only be gained from hiding my life within Christ's sacrificial work on the cross.
so i started to re-shift my focus, the desires of my heart began to slowly change. instead of desiring an easy, dreamy future, i began to desire a future that reflected God's plan for me, a future that would bring glory to His name, and a future filled with things that would be of eternal importance.
more important than tall, strong, handsome, charming, smart, athletic, funny, etc, i want someone who is more passionate about God than anything else. who has given God his whole heart. who knows God's Word, but wants to know it better. who has prayer often on his mind. who finds joy in laying down his life and desires for others. who is committed to pursuing non-believers. who is courageous, unafraid to stand for truth and on his convictions. who will lead me and our one day family closer to God. these are the things i would like and pray for now. i want to come away from dates, phone calls, and time together spurred on towards the upward calling. i want to talk about deep things and have lighthearted fun. i want there to be struggles and arguments that refine us and build our faith. i want to be a team, with winning as our goal. winning through living lives in a manner worthy of a most Holy God.
this is what i want.
and i want to be a girl who is worthy of such a boy.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
quickie
fall is here, and while the occasional 80 degree day pops in, it's mostly cool and crisp. i love this time of year. i love the pumpkin harvest candle, the sweaters, cozy night at home, starbucks, and i love being reminded to be thankful. this season is filled with both reflection, on the gifts we've been given, and anticipation, of the not too far away christmas season. i love it.
more to come soon about nursing school and life
more to come soon about nursing school and life
Monday, August 15, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
i heart faces | friendship
first time linking up to the i heart faces weekly challenge. more from this photo shoot with bell and garrett soon...
Thursday, June 23, 2011
doing it
bell has this nike shirt. and instead of the typical "just do it" saying on the front, it reads "doing it." it got me thinking, hey i'm doing it. what is "it" you might ask? it would be anatomy and physiology. i made the decision last summer to take a&p this summer. i chose to do it now instead of during the regular school year on top of my full load. and ever since i made that decision i dreaded the day i would have to act upon it.
now, it wasn't something i thought about daily, but it flitted through my mind frequently. i had heard horror stories about the class. from friends who'd previously taken it, from people i met at odu, and from the advisors. i realized i'd be doing a&p for the summer. not working, not hanging out, heck, not even sleeping. "a&p would be my life" one advisor stated with an impish smile. how could i not dread that? should i have looked forward to these promises eagerly? anticipating them with joy and desire? should or shouldn't have, i didn't. i really couldn't wait for the whole shabang to be over.
and then i had to decide this past spring to take the class at odu or tcc. i chose tcc for a handful of reasons. it was a tough decision, but every day i go to school i'm glad God helped guide me to make it.
and "every day i go to school" reminds me that i'm doing it! this thing i've dreaded for almost a year, i'm doing it. and after today's practical, i'm half way done. 5 weeks down, 5 weeks to go. and not a single day has passed that i have not felt desperate to call upon the name of the Lord, begging for help to learn everything i need to.
"prayer can never be in excess." spurgeon
and He has indeed answered my call.
"oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon His name; make known His deeds among the people." psalms 105:1
He is indeed worthy of praise! helping me gently along every step of the way, teaching me more than the superior vena cava, the cricotracheal ligament, and the ciliary zonule. He's revealing Himself to me more and more every day, and I couldn't be more grateful for this time of dependence on Him.
i'm doing anatomy by the grace of God. and i'm half way done!
now, it wasn't something i thought about daily, but it flitted through my mind frequently. i had heard horror stories about the class. from friends who'd previously taken it, from people i met at odu, and from the advisors. i realized i'd be doing a&p for the summer. not working, not hanging out, heck, not even sleeping. "a&p would be my life" one advisor stated with an impish smile. how could i not dread that? should i have looked forward to these promises eagerly? anticipating them with joy and desire? should or shouldn't have, i didn't. i really couldn't wait for the whole shabang to be over.
and then i had to decide this past spring to take the class at odu or tcc. i chose tcc for a handful of reasons. it was a tough decision, but every day i go to school i'm glad God helped guide me to make it.
and "every day i go to school" reminds me that i'm doing it! this thing i've dreaded for almost a year, i'm doing it. and after today's practical, i'm half way done. 5 weeks down, 5 weeks to go. and not a single day has passed that i have not felt desperate to call upon the name of the Lord, begging for help to learn everything i need to.
"prayer can never be in excess." spurgeon
and He has indeed answered my call.
"oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon His name; make known His deeds among the people." psalms 105:1
He is indeed worthy of praise! helping me gently along every step of the way, teaching me more than the superior vena cava, the cricotracheal ligament, and the ciliary zonule. He's revealing Himself to me more and more every day, and I couldn't be more grateful for this time of dependence on Him.
i'm doing anatomy by the grace of God. and i'm half way done!
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